I was very lucky with my pregnancy with Dotty; My labour was also very good. I didn’t suffer with any sickness and the only thing that I found tough was the tiredness in the first trimester.
I read countless blogs and books on being pregnant and had my heart set on being an ‘exclusively breastfeeding’ mum. I had learnt during my researching that breast milk is easier for a baby to digest, and it also lowers the risk of respiratory infections, asthma, obesity, type 2 diabetes, and skin diseases like eczema. It also beneficial to the mother by lowering the risk of ovarian and breast cancer, so for me I had made my mind up; I was going to breastfeed! I had looked up the ‘correct’ latch and numerous feeding positions. I invested in feeding pillows and feeding aids and even purchased a breast pump so that I could build up a freezer stash too!
The day of Dotty’s arrival finally came around and after a ‘textbook’ delivery, the midwife asked me if I wanted to feed her! I latched her on and she fed. The ‘perfect’ latch they said. The second time I fed her was different; I was sore and tired and Dot just kept bobbing on and off the breast. I was told this was ‘upping supply’ and completely normal. The feeds after that just got harder; She was a sleepy baby and didn’t wake for her feeds naturally. They called it ‘energy saver mode’; She was conserving energy because she wasn‘t feeding enough. I struggled to wake her and to get her to feed for long enough and was told that I need to wake her fully to make sure she was getting enough or she would struggle with her weight gain. A breastfeeding support volunteer came in and helped me and again a ‘perfect’ latch. However, I didn’t feel as though it was perfect and I should have said more but I was new to this and I didn’t want to be a pain. Non the less we left the hospital and I preserved. I continued to wake her every three hours and I continued to struggle through cracked nipples and tearful sleepless nights.
Fast forward to a week later; Dottie’s weight check. She had lost 14% of her birth weight. I remember sitting there with tears in my eyes as the midwife told us that we needed to take her to the children’s ward to be checked by the paediatric team. Why wasn’t my baby putting on weight? I sat and cried whilst my baby had blood tests and was poked and prodded to check that there wasn’t an underlying problem. I spoke to another lactation consultant and she again commented on my lovely feeding position and technique.
After a few hours the paediatric consultant told me that she thought the problem was because Dot was so petit and her mouth just couldn’t open wide enough to get milk out effectively enough; The words ‘not compatible’ were the hardest to hear. I was so upset. Then came the next comment ‘you will need to give her formula to top her up’. I burst out crying. I wanted to give my baby my milk! I asked about express feeding and the consultant explained that not everyone gets on with a pump. However, I was determined to try. She wheeled in the ward pump and I felt intimidated by the machine they had nicknamed ‘Daisy’. I sat and pumped for the first time and managed to get 10 whole ounces of milk! I topped Dot up with some on her next feed and felt relieved knowing that she was full. I told myself that I could do this going forward!
Top ups slowly turned into solely express feeding as I continued to struggle with her latch and Dotty started to gain weight quickly. I was so happy. I pumped every 3 hours to begin with and after 7 months (and still going) I have managed to get my pumping sessions down to twice a day. I roughly express between 10-15oz in each of those sessions and Dot drinks 5oz every 4 hours. So we make it work.
I joined some ‘exclusively pumping’ groups; The ladies in those groups are my inspiration to continue and at start they were the wealth of all knowledge. I don’t think I would have lasted this long if I hadn’t invested in some good pumping equipment along the way. I currently use the Spectra Dew 350 hospital grade pump and couldn’t rave about it enough. I’ve recommended it to many mums wanting to pump and the reviews are always great.
I also recently got the pleasure of trying out the Naturebond silicon pump and was very pleased with the result! I usually double pump with the Spectra but as Dotty gets more independent; I find that it’s hard to sit and hold two breast pump shields in place. The Naturebond pump allowed me to keep one hand free, as it just suctions on and stays in place and it was effective in expressing milk. I switched sides after half an hour to allow each side to be emptied.
It’s been a tough journey and some days I just want to give up but my goal has always been a year and it’s become part of a daily routine. There are some days that I feel like quitting. There have been many occasions where my milk supply has dropped due to stress or hormones and I’ve had to give formula but I feel so proud of myself for preserving and feeding Dotty breast milk. It is by all means not an easy task but it makes me feel good; So I shall continue until we are ready to stop.
Finally, I just want to say that I am in no way against formula feeding. It’s personal preference and you need to do what’s best for you and your baby. I chose to exclusively pump for me. It makes me feel better and connected with Dotty, it’s helped me lose weight and I’ve got into a good routine. As I mentioned earlier, there have been times where she has had formula but she does struggle to cope with digesting it; so I try to keep it to a minimum.
Thanks for reading,
G x